Aren't they so cute?! Mr. M and Mr. T have taken to getting all decked out for church. Gotta impress the ladies sometime I guess.I managed to get to church today with Mr. Incredible still out of town and I didn't actually leave any children there! (almost forgot Elizabeth in the nursery, but I didn't!!!)
Our pastor spoke on the power of those in authority. The main point in summary is that, "When I treat those under my authority with dignity and kindness they cooperate and I succeed." But in getting to the summary he addressed how people need to have hope (among many other things), but it was his statements concerning hope that hit me hard.
Mr. M has been a challenge for so many years now and he's only six! Yesterday, he only succeeded in bathing a couple of body parts during bath. He stole food last night while the babysitter was trying to get Elizabeth to sleep. (I had gone to Mr. Z's final performance of Tales of the Wild West) This morning he called Mr. T stupid. He's hit and kicked Mr. J. He's been beligerant to me while we were trying to leave church and that's just the highlights of the last 18 hours! I know he's missing his Daddy, we all are at this point...
During the sermon what I realized is I've lost hope, or nearly have. I say I know he can become a productive member of society, but I'm really just not wanting him to be some homicidal maniac. I want him to go to college and be all that he can, but I'm having a hard time believing that he can even hold a steady job at this point. I know God placed him in our home and I know that there is good that will come, but I'm crying as I write because I am just sooooo tired of the constant battles! Do I need to step up my game as a mom? How can I do more?! Seriously!!! In God I know there is a well of strength and wisdom and hope. Anybody got a rope and bucket or better yet a pump?
I understand about feeling like you've lost hope. Different circumstances, maybe, but similar frustrations. It's hard raising our kids, day in and day out, and seeing their weaknesses and praying for wisdom to raise them to the best of our ability and to benefit them. I know it's been tough for you, but keep keeping on.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I have to remind myself that my goal isn't to raise my boys to be the best in society, but to be the best *they* can be and to be all that God desires them to be. That'll be different for each kid. As long as Mr. M is growing and becoming more and more like God wants him to be, you're raising a successful kid.
Thanks for sharing honestly. It's not easy to do that. You're doing great! Keep treading water! :-)
Thanks for encouragement!!!
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