So What Happens Friday?

So Saturday we (meaning ALL of us) went to a seminar on RAD- reactive attachment disorder. The kids had fun playing and Mr. Incredible and I got a chance to listen to a psychologist and interact with others in our situation. The main resources for the seminar were the books Beyond Consequences, Logic and Control and The Primal Wound. They even gave us copies of these books! A lot of what was said came from BCLC. I had started reading this book before (it's a kinda hard read though), but this was Mr. Incredible's first in-depth experience with it. Anyway, they gave background, coping tips and general education for your responses to your child. The major premise is that because of prenatal and perinatal trauma the children who suffer RAD haven't learned to regulate their bodies and that results in symptoms that present as ADHD and being bipolar. You either come from a place of love or fear. Children with RAD come from a place of fear and their anger, fits, noncompliance, stubbornness, lack of empathy/sympathy, etc are because they are afraid. (More details to come in another post.)

Mr. Z had performances for his latest theatrical endeavors on Fri, Sat, and Sun. (we missed church :( )

Monday the kids and I and Super P (our helper) went to a somewhat local science museum. No one was lost, maimed or otherwise injured and a good time was had by all. (You know you're one tough momma when a bed of nails feels relaxing :))

Tuesday was 2 appointments, exercise and 5 grocery store stops to get all the different items that were on the list!

Wednesday we, Mr. Incredible, myself, the kids and Super P, all went to an amusement park!!! We couldn't have done it without three adults- thank you sooooo much Super P!

Thursday (today)- 2 appointments, but one didn't happen :/ (might be calling a boss), exercise, played with Ms. Carrie (counselor), a trip to the library, two stops for video game related "needs", and a stop for some free iced tea!

Friday- nothing! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!!!!! Yeah!!! Mr. Z commented today how he just needed some time at home. I wanted to shout "amen!", but instead calmly replied that Friday he would (watch him want to do something :))!

So why does any of this matter? Because we are broadening Elizabeth's little world a little by a little. Her world has grown so much since the four walls of bars of her crib a mere 10 months and 15 days ago. AND tonight she put two words together for the first time! "night night, Daddy" (I know your thinking that's three! DUH! But the speech therapists count phrases like "night night" and "bye bye" as one word.) Lest we forget Mr. M and his meltdowns... he only came really close twice on Wednesday, but he regained control!!! God is working in his heart and mine. How can going to museums and amusement parks be important?... Well the Bible does talk about the joy of the Lord!

P.S. Those refillable "Seasonal" cups from certain amusement parks are not dishwasher safe. I now know that! "I'm meltiiiiing...." leaps to mind.

Hump Day

Monday and Tuesday went so well. So we were bound for fallout, I guess, and it hit today. BOOM!
Too much to even tell. Hitting, screaming, threats (and that wasn't even me!). Whining, bed wetting, technical difficulties and a doctor's appointment to boot! So glad that everyone is in bed finally. Will talk to the counselor and maybe come up with new strategies. (new music selections reflect me trying to renew my sense of purpose, key word trying)

On a more positive note, ran across Elizabeth's referral photos. My she's becoming such a beautiful little girl. We are so blessed.


Referral photo- October 2008, Gotcha Day 9-14-09, On daddy's lap before surgery (love the little hospital gown) December 2009.














Notes on the music: More Like Falling in Love- "Give me rules, I'll break them. Give me lines, I'll cross them." That describes one of our children so perfectly.
Mighty to Save- "Everyone needs compassion, a love that's never failing, let mercy fall on me." I need that mercy. "Savior he can move a mountain, my God is mighty to save." We have mountains, invisible but HUGE.
Healing Begins- "There's freedom waiting in the sound when you let your walls fall down... This is where the healing begins". My prayer is that walls fall down, healing begins and we can move past these behaviors.
God Bless the Broken Road- I know that this is more for couples, but after the battles we have fought for Mr. M and how hard the road has been it is still so applicable. "It's all part of this grander plan that is coming true" God has a wonderful purpose for M's life and we have to fight for him to be set free so that he can move past all the junk.
Love is not a Fight- "Love is not a place to come and go as we please". Adopted children already have suffered rejection once from their biological parents. No matter how hard it gets, I need to be committed.
I could keep going, needless to say each song speaks to some area of our life, specifically parenting and overcoming the challenges.

Crazy Good Deals

So on Sunday afternoon I went to Walgreens to snag some good deals before Mr. Incredible went out of town- it's always easier to shop without kids. I did let Mr. Z tag along, though :)
Okay, so here's what I got
3- 2 packs of glue sticks
3- packs of 15 count eraser caps
3- 2 packs of erasers
4- Colgate Total toothpaste (not pictured)
4- Pampers wipes
1- Crest Whitening Strips
2- 400 sheets of multipurpose copier paper
2- poly portfolios
2- 2 packs of Pilot G2 pens
1- 6 pack of Expo washable markers
2- 3 ring poly binders
4- Butterfingers
5- 5 tab index dividers

All this for $0.43!!!! Yes, I used RR, but the toothpaste earned me a buck for each one I bought! And now we have school supplies and chocolate! Who could ask for more! The paper alone was marked with a shelf price of $6.99 and had a sale price of $1.99. I left with less RR than I walked in with, but I got things we could use!!! Yeah!!!

Counting Blessings

I've deduced that it was just an end of week crisis and though I didn't find the rainbow, He has given me the strength to keep going.
Though, I am hoping that today is not a foretaste of what the week ahead holds. Mr. Incredible leaves on business today :(, it's overcast and hard to get going and our helper texted in sick :( But we are making the most of it and I'm going to go to Aqua Zumba! It's either that or sit around watching movies barely able to keep my eyes open.
On a brighter note Elizabeth is stringing all sorts of sounds together, she's alternating feet when going up the stairs if your holding her hand and yesterday at church she was saying "Hi/Bye" to pretty much anyone she saw!
Mr. Incredible wanted to be a blessing before he left (or maybe he just wanted clean, folded clothes:)) and he was the director of Nazi Clothes Folding boot camp last night. It was so cute to see Elizabeth running around "mopping" (she decided that was her contribution) while Mr. M and Mr. T were working to match socks when I walked in from some shopping. More on the shopping in another post!
God is good all the time! (even when we don't "feel" it) :)

Help! I'm older than I feel!!

Maybe it's that I'm not looking forward to a week without Mr. Incredible... maybe it's "spring" fever... maybe it's just that it's been a busy week. All I want to do is ditch my responsibilities and go DO something. Clarification- do something that is NOT a doctor appointment, carting a kid somewhere or grocery shopping. I'm thinking like a day at the beach by myself, a night out (I mean all night, not just a couple of hours). I want to drive a convertible with the top down and the wind blowing through my hair, not a minivan with kids in the back yelling for me to shut the window... Is this a mid-life crisis or end of week crisis? Hmmm.
Do I need a vacation? Do we need a vacation?
"Be content with what you have." I guess I need to be content to be 30 something with the "social status" I have now attained- I am a homeschooling stay at home mom with one husband, one cat, four sons and one daughter a 4/2/2 house with a pool and fireplace and 2600 square feet to try to keep clean :/ Rainbow where are you? I really need to see you!

Happy Birthday, Elizabeth!!!

Today is Elizabeth's THIRD birthday!!!!
It is also the 10 month mark of her gotcha day.
My how time flies!

Oh, Monday, Monday!

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and not the peace to not hurt the child who's yelling that they hate me. Amen.
Does that give away how our day has gone too much?! In all truthfulness, we've actually had a good day and an exciting start to our week.

#1 Elizabeth had a follow up with the ENT. Ear tubes are still in place and clean and clear. Had to body hug her to keep her still while they suctioned the wax out of her tiny ear canals. The PA did the work and when we walked out the room the doctor commented on her still so ever healthy lungs. Why is it I get to do all the fun things?!

#2 Mr. Z begins Big Bad Musical Rehearsals. TONIGHT!!! And a parent has to be present for a meeting at 6pm!!!

#3 Mr. M is trying my patience. Pottying in inappropriate places is at the top of the list. Hitting brothers is next. Screaming how he hates me is next. Maybe that should be reversed, but my practical side is showing :)

#4 Trying to line up pick ups for Mr. Z from rehearsal while Mr. Incredible is out of town.

#5 CVS doesn't want to honor a two day expired ECB worth $3 :(

#6 My internet and computer are having some sort of warfare between each other and don't like to talk!

#7 Scheduled follow up Sono for the ovarian cyst I had last month- not something I'm looking forward to.

#8 Need to find out when Ms. E's husbands funeral is so I can try to arrange child care and be there.

#9 More appointments, than the usual, all week.

#10 Need to prep for a swim party at our house on Saturday. If I just say it will it come true? "Weeds I banish you!"

Please Pray

Please lift up Miss Ellen in your prayers. She's Elizabeth's language development therapist with the school district. We had a call from her when we arrived home from church that her husband died this morning. He had some minor heart surgery at the end of last week and apparently there were some complications. She's making funeral arrangements tomorrow.

Please pray that I would know how to minister to her as well. Our friendship has blossomed over the last several months of her working with Elizabeth.

Thank you.

Light

Proverbs 4:18-19 (the Message)
The ways of right-living people glow with light;
the longer they live, the brighter they shine.
But the road of wrongdoing gets darker and darker—
travelers can't see a thing; they fall flat on their faces.

I've been trying to read a Proverbs a day. Last night the 7th, I read 4, 5, 6 and 7 (oops!! little behind!) Anyway, the above struck me. Am I glowing brighter or becoming darker? Am I reflecting God's presence in our lives or am I letting the storm clouds show on my face? I feel like a keep falling flat on my face, but is it because I can't see or am I just desperate for God to intervene and touch the hearts of my children?

Mr. M has had a hard week. Change especially for children is hard to begin with, but add PDD and RAD on top of that and it's REALLY hard.
As I was starting to get dinner ready (and dreading bath time), I remembered the words of Deut. 31- (paraphrase) He won't leave me, He won't forsake me, He goes with me, Be strong and courageous. Maybe my courageous is not the climbing sheer cliffs without a safety rope kind of adrenaline pumping experience that most envision. Maybe it's just the everyday doing the right thing and guiding Mr. M in that better path (along with the others :)) Being a light to my family and showing love and kindness even in the hard times. Will the world be a better place if I successfully climb a cliff? Most likely not. Will the world be a better place if I can send five loving, giving, honorable, trustworthy and steadfast young adults into it? Maybe it will, just maybe.
In the meantime, I'll keep plodding on shining light on the darkness that tries to invade. And tonight maybe we just might skip baths, just maybe :)

Change...

This week is one for the record books.
Mr. Incredible started the week out of town and is out again for two days.
We have a new helper. BIG CHANGE
I am trying to go to the gym in the morning because of childcare closing right after class at night and wanting to have "family time" in the evenings. BIG CHANGE
What else...hmmm... Mr. M's OT who's expecting was unable to make our appointment due to having some pains, no baby yet that I know of, but Mr. M was very unsettled by the appointment being canceled.
Any change to his routine causes issues. Hmm, no wonder he's been A BEAR yesterday and today!!! More to love, right?!

And a change for the better! Elizabeth is now alternating legs when going up stairs!!! Yeah!!! Also, if you say a word and then tell her to say it she will, if it's a new word, but she won't do it again :/ Hey, at least she is trying it out!

I was given a compliment today of, "How can she do that all day?! She would make a great teacher." I really wanted to say, "Why thank you, I already am!" But didn't want to risk offense :)

It goes to show that the Lord prepares us for our job, even when we feel like we are the shortest, scrawniest, most nerdy candidate. He calls us out and into GREATNESS. He can take failures, shortcomings and misgivings and use them to make something BEAUTIFUL.

Being the Boss

Aren't they so cute?! Mr. M and Mr. T have taken to getting all decked out for church. Gotta impress the ladies sometime I guess.







I managed to get to church today with Mr. Incredible still out of town and I didn't actually leave any children there! (almost forgot Elizabeth in the nursery, but I didn't!!!)
Our pastor spoke on the power of those in authority. The main point in summary is that, "When I treat those under my authority with dignity and kindness they cooperate and I succeed." But in getting to the summary he addressed how people need to have hope (among many other things), but it was his statements concerning hope that hit me hard.
Mr. M has been a challenge for so many years now and he's only six! Yesterday, he only succeeded in bathing a couple of body parts during bath. He stole food last night while the babysitter was trying to get Elizabeth to sleep. (I had gone to Mr. Z's final performance of Tales of the Wild West) This morning he called Mr. T stupid. He's hit and kicked Mr. J. He's been beligerant to me while we were trying to leave church and that's just the highlights of the last 18 hours! I know he's missing his Daddy, we all are at this point...
During the sermon what I realized is I've lost hope, or nearly have. I say I know he can become a productive member of society, but I'm really just not wanting him to be some homicidal maniac. I want him to go to college and be all that he can, but I'm having a hard time believing that he can even hold a steady job at this point. I know God placed him in our home and I know that there is good that will come, but I'm crying as I write because I am just sooooo tired of the constant battles! Do I need to step up my game as a mom? How can I do more?! Seriously!!! In God I know there is a well of strength and wisdom and hope. Anybody got a rope and bucket or better yet a pump?

Wednesday Savings

I spent 4.5 hours cutting the coupons and doing the shopping, but there were also interruptions from kids, does that shave some time off?

So why have I started extreme couponing? Because I want extreme savings. If I can NOT spend money 0n the things that I don't have to or if I can make up a gift basket from the things that I accumulate or even give to local shelters, than I can use the money saved to do something good, give someone a gift without spending a lot of money or bless those who are having a hard time.

I spent $2.01 in cash at Walgreens and have $42 RR. I used coupons, more coupons and $32 in previous in RR. My total savings were $111.87. What I got:
3- 4 packs of a diet drink
3- boxes of tampons
3- boxes of Huggies wipes
2- Crest toothpastes
4- Sure deoderant
4- Curad bandages
11- jellos
4- 4 packs of razors
1- double pack of toothbrushes and 2 single toothbrushes
1- Edge shave gel
1- Skintimate shave gel
1- Wet Ones canister

At CVS the few cents I didn't have coupons and ECB to cover I used a gift card (from filling a prescription) to pay for! God knew I was running short on Advil! The 4 packs of $3.79 pads I got totally free, I made $0.50 on the Pantene and used that to help offset the cost of the Advil which after coupons, the overage from the Pantene and $1 ECB you got cost $0.99 each!



All I have to say is YIPEEEEEE! God is good, even in the small things!