Help! I'm older than I feel!!

Maybe it's that I'm not looking forward to a week without Mr. Incredible... maybe it's "spring" fever... maybe it's just that it's been a busy week. All I want to do is ditch my responsibilities and go DO something. Clarification- do something that is NOT a doctor appointment, carting a kid somewhere or grocery shopping. I'm thinking like a day at the beach by myself, a night out (I mean all night, not just a couple of hours). I want to drive a convertible with the top down and the wind blowing through my hair, not a minivan with kids in the back yelling for me to shut the window... Is this a mid-life crisis or end of week crisis? Hmmm.
Do I need a vacation? Do we need a vacation?
"Be content with what you have." I guess I need to be content to be 30 something with the "social status" I have now attained- I am a homeschooling stay at home mom with one husband, one cat, four sons and one daughter a 4/2/2 house with a pool and fireplace and 2600 square feet to try to keep clean :/ Rainbow where are you? I really need to see you!

Happy Birthday, Elizabeth!!!

Today is Elizabeth's THIRD birthday!!!!
It is also the 10 month mark of her gotcha day.
My how time flies!

Oh, Monday, Monday!

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and not the peace to not hurt the child who's yelling that they hate me. Amen.
Does that give away how our day has gone too much?! In all truthfulness, we've actually had a good day and an exciting start to our week.

#1 Elizabeth had a follow up with the ENT. Ear tubes are still in place and clean and clear. Had to body hug her to keep her still while they suctioned the wax out of her tiny ear canals. The PA did the work and when we walked out the room the doctor commented on her still so ever healthy lungs. Why is it I get to do all the fun things?!

#2 Mr. Z begins Big Bad Musical Rehearsals. TONIGHT!!! And a parent has to be present for a meeting at 6pm!!!

#3 Mr. M is trying my patience. Pottying in inappropriate places is at the top of the list. Hitting brothers is next. Screaming how he hates me is next. Maybe that should be reversed, but my practical side is showing :)

#4 Trying to line up pick ups for Mr. Z from rehearsal while Mr. Incredible is out of town.

#5 CVS doesn't want to honor a two day expired ECB worth $3 :(

#6 My internet and computer are having some sort of warfare between each other and don't like to talk!

#7 Scheduled follow up Sono for the ovarian cyst I had last month- not something I'm looking forward to.

#8 Need to find out when Ms. E's husbands funeral is so I can try to arrange child care and be there.

#9 More appointments, than the usual, all week.

#10 Need to prep for a swim party at our house on Saturday. If I just say it will it come true? "Weeds I banish you!"

Please Pray

Please lift up Miss Ellen in your prayers. She's Elizabeth's language development therapist with the school district. We had a call from her when we arrived home from church that her husband died this morning. He had some minor heart surgery at the end of last week and apparently there were some complications. She's making funeral arrangements tomorrow.

Please pray that I would know how to minister to her as well. Our friendship has blossomed over the last several months of her working with Elizabeth.

Thank you.

Light

Proverbs 4:18-19 (the Message)
The ways of right-living people glow with light;
the longer they live, the brighter they shine.
But the road of wrongdoing gets darker and darker—
travelers can't see a thing; they fall flat on their faces.

I've been trying to read a Proverbs a day. Last night the 7th, I read 4, 5, 6 and 7 (oops!! little behind!) Anyway, the above struck me. Am I glowing brighter or becoming darker? Am I reflecting God's presence in our lives or am I letting the storm clouds show on my face? I feel like a keep falling flat on my face, but is it because I can't see or am I just desperate for God to intervene and touch the hearts of my children?

Mr. M has had a hard week. Change especially for children is hard to begin with, but add PDD and RAD on top of that and it's REALLY hard.
As I was starting to get dinner ready (and dreading bath time), I remembered the words of Deut. 31- (paraphrase) He won't leave me, He won't forsake me, He goes with me, Be strong and courageous. Maybe my courageous is not the climbing sheer cliffs without a safety rope kind of adrenaline pumping experience that most envision. Maybe it's just the everyday doing the right thing and guiding Mr. M in that better path (along with the others :)) Being a light to my family and showing love and kindness even in the hard times. Will the world be a better place if I successfully climb a cliff? Most likely not. Will the world be a better place if I can send five loving, giving, honorable, trustworthy and steadfast young adults into it? Maybe it will, just maybe.
In the meantime, I'll keep plodding on shining light on the darkness that tries to invade. And tonight maybe we just might skip baths, just maybe :)

Change...

This week is one for the record books.
Mr. Incredible started the week out of town and is out again for two days.
We have a new helper. BIG CHANGE
I am trying to go to the gym in the morning because of childcare closing right after class at night and wanting to have "family time" in the evenings. BIG CHANGE
What else...hmmm... Mr. M's OT who's expecting was unable to make our appointment due to having some pains, no baby yet that I know of, but Mr. M was very unsettled by the appointment being canceled.
Any change to his routine causes issues. Hmm, no wonder he's been A BEAR yesterday and today!!! More to love, right?!

And a change for the better! Elizabeth is now alternating legs when going up stairs!!! Yeah!!! Also, if you say a word and then tell her to say it she will, if it's a new word, but she won't do it again :/ Hey, at least she is trying it out!

I was given a compliment today of, "How can she do that all day?! She would make a great teacher." I really wanted to say, "Why thank you, I already am!" But didn't want to risk offense :)

It goes to show that the Lord prepares us for our job, even when we feel like we are the shortest, scrawniest, most nerdy candidate. He calls us out and into GREATNESS. He can take failures, shortcomings and misgivings and use them to make something BEAUTIFUL.

Being the Boss

Aren't they so cute?! Mr. M and Mr. T have taken to getting all decked out for church. Gotta impress the ladies sometime I guess.







I managed to get to church today with Mr. Incredible still out of town and I didn't actually leave any children there! (almost forgot Elizabeth in the nursery, but I didn't!!!)
Our pastor spoke on the power of those in authority. The main point in summary is that, "When I treat those under my authority with dignity and kindness they cooperate and I succeed." But in getting to the summary he addressed how people need to have hope (among many other things), but it was his statements concerning hope that hit me hard.
Mr. M has been a challenge for so many years now and he's only six! Yesterday, he only succeeded in bathing a couple of body parts during bath. He stole food last night while the babysitter was trying to get Elizabeth to sleep. (I had gone to Mr. Z's final performance of Tales of the Wild West) This morning he called Mr. T stupid. He's hit and kicked Mr. J. He's been beligerant to me while we were trying to leave church and that's just the highlights of the last 18 hours! I know he's missing his Daddy, we all are at this point...
During the sermon what I realized is I've lost hope, or nearly have. I say I know he can become a productive member of society, but I'm really just not wanting him to be some homicidal maniac. I want him to go to college and be all that he can, but I'm having a hard time believing that he can even hold a steady job at this point. I know God placed him in our home and I know that there is good that will come, but I'm crying as I write because I am just sooooo tired of the constant battles! Do I need to step up my game as a mom? How can I do more?! Seriously!!! In God I know there is a well of strength and wisdom and hope. Anybody got a rope and bucket or better yet a pump?

Wednesday Savings

I spent 4.5 hours cutting the coupons and doing the shopping, but there were also interruptions from kids, does that shave some time off?

So why have I started extreme couponing? Because I want extreme savings. If I can NOT spend money 0n the things that I don't have to or if I can make up a gift basket from the things that I accumulate or even give to local shelters, than I can use the money saved to do something good, give someone a gift without spending a lot of money or bless those who are having a hard time.

I spent $2.01 in cash at Walgreens and have $42 RR. I used coupons, more coupons and $32 in previous in RR. My total savings were $111.87. What I got:
3- 4 packs of a diet drink
3- boxes of tampons
3- boxes of Huggies wipes
2- Crest toothpastes
4- Sure deoderant
4- Curad bandages
11- jellos
4- 4 packs of razors
1- double pack of toothbrushes and 2 single toothbrushes
1- Edge shave gel
1- Skintimate shave gel
1- Wet Ones canister

At CVS the few cents I didn't have coupons and ECB to cover I used a gift card (from filling a prescription) to pay for! God knew I was running short on Advil! The 4 packs of $3.79 pads I got totally free, I made $0.50 on the Pantene and used that to help offset the cost of the Advil which after coupons, the overage from the Pantene and $1 ECB you got cost $0.99 each!



All I have to say is YIPEEEEEE! God is good, even in the small things!

Life, Out of the Box

You know God is stretching you when things you don't expect start piling up and up and up.
When it rains it pours... To everything there is a season...

Well six months (I believe to the day) of losing one dog, we have lost another (and we only had two to begin with!). Samson had to find a new home today. There have been issues over him leaving our backyard, and I'm not too thrilled about the puncture marks in our leather sofa from his claws, but we had the last straw yesterday and he had to go. It had been coming, but we have had so much changing in our lives lately and Mr. M's need for stability.... God knows. God sees. God is in control. I just need to keep trusting. As I was driving to pick up Mr. Z from a day camp, a song came on the radio, I didn't "Shazam" it with my iphone so I don't know the title, but the artist sang of God being in control and knowing and caring. Just what I needed to hear at just the right moment. It's amazing that days before when the station's music manager was selecting songs and play order God was directing him and I would be in the van at exactly the right time to hear exactly what I need in order to not have a total breakdown over the dog!

I am looking forward to the flowers that this season of storms is going to produce. I pray that Mr. Incredible's travel will yield fruit and not be wasted. I pray that God's provision for our family is sustaining and His hand of protection spread far. I pray that the kids aren't scarred for life after all this dog drama.

The storms in life produce the rainbows!!!!

Giving It Up

I have worked for a couple hours each day this week sorting through my procrastination piles- clothes, paperwork, stuff, etc. Last night while I waited for Mr. Incredible to get home I tackled the computer counter. It's amazing there really still is a white counter under all that paperwork and those items of "what does this belong to?". I would love to say that I got all the paperwork sorted and put up and, and, and... Nope it's now on the bench by the backdoor, but I did work on sorting! I even threw away some!!!!

I think Mr. Incredible's "we may need it someday" philosophy has had an effect on me. I have two file drawers filled with Mr. Z's and Mr. J's early artwork and other things they have done over the years. As a homeschooler you want to keep some things to show proof of what you have done, but when is enough enough?!

I want my kids to know how much I cherish them and that is of course reflected in all the little do da's they create and I keep, right? Wrong! I have become a slave to Sunday School papers and crafts, school projects, that "I made this for you", "this is their first ___", etc.!!! My children aren't going to think that I'm a great mom because I saved every memento from their childhood if I can't have the decency to look them in the eye when they are asking me something. I can't make myself a perfect mom by scrapbooking the right way with the "right" things.

The last four days have made me take stock that I still want to be the perfect mom. I sadly thought that I was over this, but the piles of recital programs, AWANA do da's, certificate of completion of the summer reading with attached lists of what they've read have made me see that I want to at least somehow make my crazy and chaotic life appear normal and perfect even if it is only in a scrapbook or some keepsake box. But I am only bringing chaos and more things to clean when these items turn into piles and the piles cause guilt and the guilt makes me feel like I am a failure.

God never gives us more than we can bear, but what burdens (or activities) have you brought on yourself and are saying that God gave you? I once heard this story of a woman who was at the bottom of a hill with an empty wheelbarrow. She prayed that God would give her a purpose, so God told her to pick up the rock next to the wheelbarrow and take it up to the top of the hill. So she picked up the rock and started up the hill. She hadn't gone very far when she saw another rock and thought, "I'll take this one up too". As she kept going up the mountain she kept picking up rocks, small ones and big ones, and her load kept getting heavier and heavier. Straining with each step as she pushed her heavy laiden load ehe called out to God to help her to make it to the top of the hill. She told God that He had given her to much of a load. God in his infinite wisdom responded, "I only gave you one rock, you took the rest on yourself".

Ahh, that I can give up all the rocks that I've piled on. God doesn't want perfection from me (or anyone). He knew I(we) couldn't be perfect and that is why He sent His son to die for my(our) imperfections. God only wants me to be more like HIM- loving, patient, gentle, kind, self-less, giving... That's probably a big enough rock right there ;)