Is That You God?

There's a longing in my heart, several actually. One is about a different home for our family. Our current home has served us well for almost eight years and there are things I love and things that frustrate me. First and foremost, it a 4/2/2 with a fireplace and a pool- love that! ...but, Mr. M's family knows where we live. There's never been a problem, but it is still a niggling thought. However with a dog, a garden, a pool and five kids our backyard, though large, seems really small. We have 20 acres (not at our home) that we bought to eventually build on, but do we really want the stress of building? Then we could get what at least we think we want, maybe. Or should we pursue some other option? Or am I just being discontent and unthankful for what we already have?! Or maybe God is calling us to something more, bigger than I could imagine or even dare to dream.
Hmm.

What's in a weekend?

Ever feel like your weekends are more exhausting than your weeks sometimes?! Well this was one of those for us. It started by Mr. Incredible taking Friday off so that we could visit an aquarium 120 miles away. We have come a long way with Mr. M, but field trips require a minimum of two adults, period. We also went back to the PF Chang's that helped us celebrate Elizabeth's birthday while she was still in China, see We Got In!. Saturday wasn't extremely full, but had enough since the aquarium had zapped everything out of me- maybe it was that we walked up and down a three story building multiple times, I was carrying Elizabeth (the stroller thing just wasn't working for us/her) or that I was still less than a month post surgery. Whatever it was, it WORE me OUT! Grocery shopping HAD to happen on Saturday, the cupboards were getting bare and we were completely out of Chex! Horrors! (lol) Today was the typical church/AWANA full day with one exception. Instead of Elizabeth and I going and sitting in the foyer during the sermon, she fell asleep in my arms and snuggled me the whole sermon. I really needed that and I think she did too. I feel like a need this week just to recover from the past three days.

Unfortunately this week is extra busy- more than just our "normal" six appointments... I could become very discouraged-never enough of me to get done all that needs to be done, our "normal" is now six appointments every single stinkin' week, committees, health food co-ops... But then I stop and think of how bad it could really be. My child could have cancer and given weeks to live. Celiac Disease is nothing compared to that. My child could be so far gone mentally that they just need to be institutionalized. ADHD is soooo minor if I think about it that way. My child could be totally deaf and blind. Elizabeth can hear some and her vision appears to be correctable with glasses. We may have obstacles in our way and our path may not be as smooth as others, but God doesn't call for me to jealous because someone else seems to have such a "better" life than me. God wants me to be thankful,
1 Thes. 5:18a- "give thanks in all circumstances".
He has given me these children. He sees their needs and mine.
Matthew 6:31-32-"So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them."
I think this also applies to scheduling, schooling, medical diagnosis, not just having clean clothes and gluten free food (I don't need the latest fashions, just sometimes finding clean clothes is a feat in itself). My feet may be stuck in the mire of gunky banana on my living room floor (don't ask), but my arms are uplifted to my Father who knows all, sees all and has a plan in all this mess.

She Points!!!!

There was some definite reaching in the pictures in my last post. But right before we left to take Mr. Z to his Tom Sawyer practice. SHE POINTED!!!! It was our change jar she pointed at, could that mean anything?! Now if only we can have a point and a vocalization! She has been quite a laid back little girl so far so this is HUGE!
And as for those inadequacies mentioned in Crazy?!, yep, the kids are having PB&J (AB& J for Mr. T) for dinner on Tapioca bread. Time got away from me. Oh, well. Mr. Incredible isn't even out of town....
Here's to tomorrow and getting the summer clothes out, school done, laundry done, and maybe even dinner made :)

Crazy?!

I have been told that I am (we are) crazy. Not because of some psychotic episode or anything, but because we have chosen to adopt. Yes, there are many crazy days because of lots of reasons-doctor appointments, sick kids, life, etc., BUT as 1 Corinthians 1:25 states so well, "For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom..." I would rather be considered crazy any day than to somehow deny God's call. James 1:27, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

In my "spare time", I have started reading A Special Kind of Love by Susan Osborn and Janet Mitchell. It's purpose is primarily to encourage those who have or who work with special needs kids. (who doesn't need some encouragement sometimes?!) Within the first few lines of this book I knew I had picked up a good read, it says, "The awesome reality is that long before this child was born, God chose you to be a part of this child's life. Yes, God chose you with your talents, abilities, temperament, and INADEQUACIES- knowing that you were PERFECT for the job." (caps mine)

To know that God sees my inadequacies and still thinks I'm perfect to raise these special blessings is so awesome (since I am a recovering perfectionist).
When I look at my children, I don't see their "special need". I see my child. Whether adopted or homegrown they all have some sort of specialness. But don't we all if we look deep inside, past the walls we've put up and the masks we've put on?~ I digress.

It's easy to see with our homegrowns that we are a good fit to be their parent (even when parenting is not easy), but what about our adopteds...

God's heart is not for families to be separated, but sometimes because of sin, human depravity or the choices that are made a child is placed for adoption. It's mind boggling to me that God saw Elizabeth or Mr. M in their mother's wombs, He knew the choices that would be made, He put a desire in my heart and He thought that I would make a better mother for them than someone else out there. What an AWESOME RESPONSIBILITY!!! Yikes!

God and His ways are truly amazing.

Happy Easter! (cough, cough)

Today is Easter, I have really wanted to start/have some Easter traditions, but the only one we seem to have is that somehow we miss church. :( Either we are traveling to spend time with family or we are sick. This year once again it was the latter of the two. Two of the kids are down with bronchial issues- they are our spring born babies (connection?!). This combined with having a busy week (or at least what felt like a busy week) last week, fritzy internet for six days (one of the reasons I haven't been posting), our main computer dying (another reason I haven't been posting) and satan rearing his ugly head at a function yesterday in the form of ill spoken words and I am beat! I don't want tomorrow to be Monday, I am fighting some sickness off myself, sitting here posting, drinking Vitamin C and ignoring the piled dishes in the sink.
So it's at times like these that I check my vision. Right now I am staring at the bumper in front of me (not literally). I am on this road of life and there are things that are causing traffic. But instead of looking up and planning a better way around the obstacles, I choose to simply stare at what is right in front of me. My dad when teaching me how to drive would say, "Look at what is happening 1/4 mi. up the road so you can prepare." How this has served me well in driving, but it is easy to forget when a HUGE semi is in front of you and you can't see beyond his bumper. It also applies to life. If I spend my energy on what was said to me, I will only be making myself and those closest to me miserable. If I stop and think about how many diapers I've changed or Gluten Free meals I've cooked and will yet have to continue doing, I could get depressed. But I need to take my eyes off that bumper in front of me (whether a semi's or a compact's, and sometimes they all seem big) and look ahead at what my goal in life is. Is it to be the fastest one on the road, cutting other off and squealing my tires to show off? Or am I in a season of service right now, not only to my husband and children, but also to my community?
Lord, may I have my eyes fixed on you this coming week and not look at all the obstacles surrounding me.

Little Trip, Big Accomplishment

I have been avoiding going to the public library for months. I just didn't want to deal with children yelling (yes, in the library), then at checkout having a child climb on the desk while another one is crawling or rolling on the floor making moaning noises or a hand down the pants... So this is why library trips had become mommy only events. Go figure. But since returning from China, time has not been on my side and no library trips have happened. Fast forward six months to today I said something like this, "I would like to go to the post office. If you can conduct yourselves nicely AND do exactly as I say AND not run around AND hold my hand AND stay next to mommy (catching a theme here?) while we are at the post office, we can go to the library, but you have to be good there too." We went over this before we left the house and also before we piled out of the van at the post office. Mr. M only needed a little reminder in the post office (after we were waiting in line for a few minutes) and he really wasn't doing anything that I hadn't said he could, he was right next to me rolling his car on the floor, but I knew I had to keep a tight reign or else the car would go flying into or under something and he would be off.
So as we walk in the lady purchasing items and paying at the counter comments in a voice loud enough for ALL in the room to hear, "I'm sure glad I don't have that" and indicates toward us. God weighted down Elizabeth just enough to keep me from bounding over to her and throttling her (nicely of course). Instead I calmly replied, "But they are all blessings!" with a smile on my face. She in turn replies, "Of course they are, but still..." with a sarcastic tone. She continued commenting to the clerk about us or kids, because of the looks she threw our way, but we could no longer hear her comments, thankfully. I think if I had heard any more of her comments we would have left. We already hear, "All they all yours?!", "You have a BIG family!", "How do you handle it?!", "Well, I couldn't do it!" enough when we are out in public all together. I don't want any of my children to feel like they are a burden or in some other way a detractor from a "better" life. I really mean it, children are a blessing!
Back to the post office.. The gentleman in front of us didn't seem to mind our presence and by the time we got to the clerk she was congeenely smiling at us and even commented as we left, "I didn't even know they were down there." Speaking of Mr. M and Mr. T who had sat down on the carpet in front of the counter. I don't know if she was trying to be extra nice because of the other lady or if she really didn't see SIX people walk up to the counter. Anyway, this was the first time EVER that a child wasn't trying to climb the counter, press buttons, pull my clothes off trying to get my attention, yell, touch merchandise, or run away in YEARS! ~sigh of relief~ Thank you, God. We needed that. The library was slightly more turbulent, but considering the precident of previous visits- THEY WERE ANGELS. Even if Elizabeth was singing the whole time- we wanted her to be more verbal...~smile~. Now did we walk away with any books, no. But movies can be educational, right?! Gotta love Babar and Swiss Family Robinson.

What would happen...

...if Elizabeth really isn't hearing impaired?!? We will find out a definitive answer hopefully April 26th. Please pray that we do. Her vocabulary of jabbering noises is improving, but "up" is still her only spontaneous word.
...if Mr. M's RAD meant Redeemed And Delivered? I can pray that it will be so. God can turn what Satan has meant for evil into something very beautiful.
...if one family from each church in the US adopted a child in US foster care? There would be no orphans in this country.
...if I (or you) am willing to set aside my aspirations and focus on what God is calling me to do? The world would be changed.

Go and change the world!

The Cost of Adoption

I have heard many people comment on how they want to adopt, but it is so expensive.... Well, we've tallied everything and ...(drum roll)... adopting Elizabeth cost us $1000. With the grants we received, the loan (that has now been repaid in full!) and the US adoption tax credit, our grand total seems fairly minimal to give a child a home that had only known an institution where at age two she was still receiving only bottles. Now the money we have spent on medical testing since she has been home has been substantial, but God again has provided for it.
This is not our first adoption and so though we are not proficient at it we have experienced foster care adoption and now international adoption.
The "real" things that adoption has cost is time (filling out paperwork), energy (a lot of emotions can get involved), effort (you have to make the effort to do the paperwork or to even wait), love (you have to make room in your heart to love even if you are not loved in return) and a willingness to sacrifice more of my time (and sleep) or whatever else is needed so that we can meet the child's needs.
Adoptions can cost from $1000 (domestic foster care) to $40,000 (some international programs). But if God is leading you, He will provide.
I am going to make the comments of this post private so that if you want an excel spreadsheet of all the grants and loans available for adoption that Mr. Incredible compiled you can send me your email and I will send it as an attachment. I have been unable to figure out how I can post it as of yet.

Praise Him!

With our tax return Elizabeth is "free and clear". YES!

Dinner for Two, Anyone?

Well, I am a little tardy in bragging about Mr. Z and Mr. J, but better late than never, right?! I had to lay down yesterday afternoon to rest my knee. When I went to get up I was informed that I couldn't. I knew something was up, but we finally reached an agreement that I could be led with eyes closed down the stairs and out to the garage- had to get donations loaded for church garage sale. When Mr. Incredible arrived home we had the "grand" reveal. We found our coffee table covered with a tablecloth (a rarity at our house) moved into our "formal" dining area and shimmed up to table height using kids chairs, laundry baskets and puzzles. The menu consisted mostly of snack food and our standby of cheese burritos, but it was the thought that counted. They even prepared food for their younger siblings, cleaned up the the mess in the kitchen and loaded the dishwasher (even started it without being asked!!!). I felt so blessed that they came up with, executed and cleaned up their plan.
Now it did cost to eat at their restaurant, but they CLEANED UP, this is HUGE! I of course deducted the cost of the food, but they still made $6 to split. I think I made Mr. Incredible's jaw drop by giving up my miserly ways for the night (or at least a few minutes) and gladly paying them. I even made it to the garage sale to drop off the donations, picked up Saxon 8/7 and Alegebra 1 for $4 and made it home in time to give Elizabeth her bottle and rock her before bed. Whew!